the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
