listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Randomize
