I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
