We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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