Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
