let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
