why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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