I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
