fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
