and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
