I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
