i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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