He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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