You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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