I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
