The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
