Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
