they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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