im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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