I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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