if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
