i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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