I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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