Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
