your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
