But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
