He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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