Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
not ubering you a puppy
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
