We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
