I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
im holly from the hills drunk
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
