he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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