Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
