Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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