then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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