I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
