M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize