Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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