I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
