I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Drake has all the answers
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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