she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
