butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm like, not good at living.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
