Having a random hookup so left but love u
That reminds me...we need to get swords
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
