I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
