She is in my trunk
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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