worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
