i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I have fence marks all over my body
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
