my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
