what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
