I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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