everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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