So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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