Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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