I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
