Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
